So, like, I'm reading this Young Adult novel, okay? And it's all about this girl who is just sooo beautiful and she's like the most popular girl in school. And her friend, who she's been friends with since forever is like being all bitchy and is in, like, a competition with her over boys and stuff.

And this new boy has come to the local high school and he, like, has to be on this special diet and has lived for a while and went into the school office and did some mojo on the office lady and then he totally ignores this girl and so she thinks he doesn't like her but he's all reminded of some Katherine chick and can't look at the other girl because he'll be reminded and he doesn't want that and the other girl smells like violets. Oh, and they have one class together and I was so, like expecting it to be Biology but it was History of Europe, and at the end of the class he's all tense 'cause he's hungry and stuff and wants to get out of the school quick because the pressure of their thought patterns is intense...

So, like, this book I'm reading, okay, is called The Vampire Diaries written by some woman called LJ Smith and I so thought she copied The Stephenie but the book was published in, like, 2001 so that means she wrote it, like, four years before The Stephenie wrote her brilliant story on a teenager who falls in love with a vampire! Weird, huh?

(Editor's note: Apologies to any 17 year olds that may have been offended by the gratuitous use of 'Valleygirl' vernacular. For the record, these are observations that were made while reading said novel and the similarities with Stephenie Meyer's Twilight were rather obvious. It is unknown if the common elements are particular to the genre or are only present in these two novels. It should be noted, however, that, at the time of writing, only 26 pages of The Vampire Diaries has been read.)